


Madder than a Hornet

by TheVagabondBoy



Series: Renaissance Man [4]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Achievement Hunters, Alternate Universe - GTA, Fake AH Crew, Hot Weather, Summer, and the semi-nudity caused by it, everyone hates hornets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 07:53:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9113815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheVagabondBoy/pseuds/TheVagabondBoy
Summary: An intruding insect uncovers perhaps the weirdest skill yet.





	

Sometimes Ryan regretted making a permanent home for himself in Los Santos.

Don’t get him wrong, though! He didn’t regret who he had made that home _with_ , not in a million years. At first it had been a well-paying gig, and that was the only reason he stayed. But as time passed, the Crew became his new family.

The reason he regretted it, was the summers.

Sure, the summers in Georgia were hot as hell too, but Los Santo was way worse. Georgia was a dry heat. Not much sweating or general exhaustion there, just keep out of the sun and things were decent enough. But Los Santos was literally _right_ on the ocean. It was _ridiculously_ humid. Just breathing made him exhausted if it got really bad.

This particular summer was like every other Los Santos summer Ryan had experienced, except rolled together into one. He felt like death incarnate, and not in the way he was used to. He felt like death had literally entered his body and was sucking the life out of him. And that was before he had even woken up.

They hadn’t done a job since the first heatwave hit. How could they? They were all half dead before leaving their bedrooms. All they could do was lay still and try to do as little as possible. Every window that could open was open. They had gathered together ten fans and all of them were currently set  up in the living room, bathing the occupants in cool air.

Ryan lay on the floor. The hardwood was decently cool, if he rolled over every now and then to find a new, unused spot. He had discarded his shirt and shorts long ago, laying there in just his underwear. Everyone else was the same. Even Jack had given up on her shirt, despite now free boobing it with the best of them. Honestly, everyone was too exhausted to give a shit about nudity and decency.

“Everyone alive?” Ryan grunted.

 _Hey_ , he was just making sure!

One by one, the group grunted something in response. Though he _really_ didn’t want to, Ryan rolled over onto his chest. He got to his hands and knees, then staggered to his feet. They all needed water. He shuffled into the kitchen, loading his arms up with cold bottles from the fridge.

Someone let out a shrill shriek. Ryan’s instincts kicked in. He dropped the bottles, ignoring where they fell and grabbed a knife out of the block on the counter. He sprinted back into the living room, and found…

“ _Hornet!”_ Gavin screamed, clutching a pillow for protection. “Kill it! Michael, kill it!”

Gavin was cowering behind the couch, a distinct change from where he too had lain on the floor. Michael was cowering right beside the Brit, and didn’t look _at all_ interested in dealing with the insect. Geoff…well, Geoff had lifted his head to look around but seemed to long after the sweet, _cooling_ release of death and ignored the situation. Jack had run over to hide behind Ryan as soon as he entered and Jeremy had the very same idea.

“Someone get rid of it!” Jeremy begged.

“Ryan! Kill it!” Gavin agreed.

Ryan let out a heavy breath. When he held out the handle of the knife to her, Jack silently took it. He grabbed the rubber band he had in his hair, releasing the unruly mess of black hair when he pulled on the band. It fell just beyond his shoulders in the longest parts, but it was unevenly cut and done so in front of the mirror with a very sharp knife. Ryan threaded the standard brown rubber band over his left index finger, stretching it out with his right hand. He closed one eye to aim.

Everyone stared in confusion, which they tended to do quite a lot where he was concerned Ryan had noticed.

He released the band. It snapped back and launched into the air as if fired from a gun. The hornet didn’t even see it coming. The rubber band hit the insect, catapulting both out through the closest window.

“Stop whining.” Ryan grunted, taking the knife back from the woman still hiding behind him. “Too hot.”

He disappeared back to the kitchen.

Silence.

“Okay, the piano and balloons were kinda cool.” Michael said, first of them to speak up. “But what the fuck was _that?”_

Before anyone could say a word in response, Ryan returned with the bottles and his hair up again. He handed out the water and took a long drink himself, then laid back down on the floor.


End file.
